2:50am... I cant sleep...
Thinking of you tonight is keeping me awake... I tried to stop my thoughts and to fall asleep but couldn't... You are so present tonight... for the first time...
I go out of bed... Sit in the living room staring at the darkness... Nothing... Nothing but the thought of you...
I come back to bed and start writing this as i do not wish to loose those thoughts..
We continue playing a game you and i, a game that i wish it ends so we start a new episode from a new season of our relationship...
Soon it will be a year...
1 year, 12 months, 365 days...
Where are we? What did we do? What did we accomplish?
Nothing...
We are still living a lie...
We didn't break our routines...
We don't talk as frequent as before...
You always try to make me laugh, you keep acting silly for me to smile..
You are happy and proud when i take your side in front of our friends... though you rarely give me the pleasure of taking my side in front of them... instead you do it in private when you feel I'm not happy about it...
You don't show interest in my plans as if you didn't listen or you don't care
You keep shouting at me when playing backgammon with the guys saying this is not a game for ladies though you taught me the game and yet don't play with me
You always seek my attention when I'm not focusing with you...
You come closer every time i distance myself from you
Your actions always show how much you care but you are not taking the relationship to the next level..
You are stuck somewhere... Something is stopping you from moving forward.. You are still scattered between fighting for a story that lasted for years not ready yet to let go and taking the risk to start a new story where only the unknown reigns...
Until you make up your mind and find this little thing that will make you realize which direction to take, nothing will change...
Nothing...
