someone better (?)

and now i can’t even look myself in the eye anymore because i feel like none of me is good enough; because why would anyone ever leave if i was good enough? i cant even look myself in the eye, because i feel like this person who people use for their own benefit, make me feel like i’m something special, and throw me away when my purpose in their life is over. these people always get what they want - but what about me? what about my feelings? they’re on the other side content with what has happened, and here i am, not even capable of looking myself in the eye because i can’t help but want to scream and run away from myself. people use you, leave you and find someone new, but what about me? what about the love i have for them despite it all or what about the fact i find myself praying for them secretly to god with a face full of tears? these people are on the other side, content with what has happened, and here i am watching myself get replaced with someone new and better; and you see. this is all i’ve ever been worth - they make me feel special and attach myself to new hopes and dreams i’ve lost in the past. only to realize that at the end of the day you were just a time pass and you’ve been easily replaced with someone new. i’ve been replaced with someone new, but what about them? will i ever be able to replace them? and i can’t even look myself in the eye because god damn, no i can’t ever replace them and i don’t know if i hate myself for that or them, i think it’s myself i hate, it’s always, just always myself.