bits and pieces

“you know what”? i looked at him with words in my eyes rather than words on my lips. i wish there was possibly any language in this world for me to convey what you have done to this heart; but you know what? there isn’t. the only words i can speak are the words of my love for you. i cried in the bathroom the day you threw my soul away with your hurtful words and i know that sounds so so simple; kind of like a bad day. turning the tap on and crying for hours and wiping these tears off with my sleeves; and then walking out to face the world like a soldier as if there was absolutely no war at all. that day i realized how much of a home your body was to my soul because the four walls around me began to feel like prison. the world told me to let you go and explore the universe- because there’s millions of stars out there that i could replace with you. the world told me i deserved so much more but i didn’t know how to tell the world that you already were so much more. so much more. just so much more. you were more than anything. i’d use these words and try to message you about the pain plastered in my veins but i’d hit delete because all you’ve taught me is to simply delete everything - like the way you deleted me from your heart when at one point i was all your feelings put together in a human. i was your happiness, your joy - i was all of it. but now? i’m your sadness, your tears, your heartache. so i used my bitter words painted upon my dehydrated tongue and began attaching you to everything that could possibly be beautiful. i began attaching you to the moon, to the stars, to the roses and violets, to every beautiful creation of god. i began attaching you to pretty words and languages of poetry - i began to speak the language of my love to you - even though you broke me to bits and pieces.