My fingers trembled as I dialed your number
My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my rib cage
When you picked up my heart stopped and my breath got caught in my lungs
But you eased my heart back to beating and I was able to breathe again
And somehow hours and hours flew by in a second and we were amazed
Suddenly you were back in my life again, talking to me every chance that you got
You were calling and texting and sending sweet words about your heart
I started to care again, and I remembered how much I loved you
I never thought that I would see you again but suddenly I had to
I had to know how it felt to hold you and study your face
So we raced towards each other, hearts beating heavily as we crossed miles and hours
And then the world stopped and time stood still as you climbed into my car
Every part of my brain screamed at me to run the other way
But every bone and muscle was paralyzed and my heart said to stay
I had to fight to keep my heart from beating so hard that it came out of my throat
Every time you touched me my muscle memory came back
And half of me wanted to take you in my arms and the other half wanted to run away
Tears streamed down both of our faces for a long time as our voices filled the silence
And we talked on the phone the whole way home
And everything was beautiful
Each day was confusing but your words and promises filled the cracks in my heart
Old wounds started to heal and I told my brain to forget that they ever hurt
I felt safe and loved and beautiful and like I was worth so much
So I couldn’t wait to see you again
We made plans that turned into reality and it felt so good to be with you again
And then the morning came and everything changed
Suddenly the skies you had painted blue were turning black and lightning filled the air
I went from walking on water to drowning in the downpour
You made me feel like I was losing my mind but I replayed every moment and couldn’t find the one where things went wrong
So I screamed and I cried and I drank my sorrows
And my brain whispered a soft “I told you so” to my aching heart
And I desperately threw you one last lifeline and I hoped that you’d pull me in from drowning in a sea that you created
But the rope went limp and now I’m drifting off into oblivion
Left only with the memories and sweet words you offered me
And a bruised and broken heart
