I can’t look at a meal
Without reviewing my past
Mistakes that I made
That prove to me I am last in this race called life
I have never been fast
For I am a defeatist, you say
Never getting out of my own way
Yet you refuse to hear me
When I pray
for my pain to go another way
For a second I just wish to find
The girl that sang all the damn time
She never thought to check the calories
Within every bite she took
And never did she question
The way her body looked
When she glared in the mirror
She just saw herself
Not a distorted body that she hates
And craves to disclaim
I miss the vast void of pain
And how my emotions were tame
If I could wish upon a star
I’d reverse every clock
Bring back the girl who I was once
For I am done living the life
Of who I’ve become
