There’s so much I want to tell you,
But I can never find the right words.
You were my first real love and to this day
Losing you still hurts and always stirs
My feelings for you in the back of my mind.
So much so that every time
I’m near you,
I get those nervous butterflies.
I drive myself insane
Wondering if by some miracle of a chance
You might possibly feel the same.
But I know my pride is too thick.
Instead of just asking you if you still care,
I swallow my thoughts,
Run away, and say
“Fuck this shit!”
Because I’d rather protect myself
From humiliation
And sounding like a lunatic.
The other day I saw you cry
For the very first time
Ever,
And it tore me apart inside.
All I wanted to do
Was run to you,
Hug and hold you,
And let you know that it’d be alright
And that if always be by your side
Should you want or need me to be that guy.
That’s how much I love you.
No amount of time will ever change that.
But I guess until I decide to
Grow a pair and ‘sack the hell up’
And tell you how I really feel,
I’ll just have to stay away.
Hoping that one day,
That you might come back.
