Everything is black now
A once colorful world fades to shades of grey
Nothing feels real
Nothing feels right
I know the bright bouquets of flowers are supposed to cheer us all up
To distract from the drawn out sympathies
The agonizingly long silences
The agonizingly long faces
Everything with color in it makes my blood boil
Or it would if I had the strength to care
How can people wear colors today
How can they not wear black
I know I should be trying harder to pretend that everything is fine
I do it all the time
But today is different
But today nothing is fine
Everything flashes by in a sickening blur
And yet, simultaneously, everything drags on forever
Like some kind of hazy dream
Like some kind of nightmare
I glance at the flowers on my ankle
And wish desperately that you were here instead
You could make some funny joke
You could make the colors come back
Everything feels different
Like every tear stings a little more
Every breath is a little bit harder
Every heartbeat is a little bit heavier
I glance at the ground so I don’t have to meet anyone’s eyes
An entire life can be summed up in such a short time
What I wouldn’t give to hold your hand again
What I wouldn’t give to hear you laugh again
Everything reminds me of you
All the days blend together in a quiet blur
I know now that time doesn’t really heal anything
I know now that we never have as much time as we think we do
You brought so much color into this dull life
You brought a smile of relief from the endless waves of black
You are much happier now, I’m sure of it, but
You are missed
