There once was a time in my life where I thought I didn’t fit in
A time that I thought I was lost
Where do I begin
A time where my feelings exhaust
Only I know the time it will end
Those times in my life I felt this way were my teenage years
Even though I had many friends
I still felt like I wasn’t the same as my peers
I knew in my head I had to pretend
To act emotionally sane and not show my tears
I drank, I smoked and did drugs
It never took the pain away
Only dulled my feelings as I stayed buzzed
Why I did these things I can not say
Only that it made it so I did not have to confront my pain
All the memories of my childhood plays over and over again
It’s like yesterday that I feel his touch
I see his face and watch him grin
It sickens me so much
Just a little girl I had been
I’ll never forget the time on the stand
The attorneys made me feel so bad
He plead guilty but got a slap on the hand
I didn’t understand what was going on but I had my mom and dad
It was all I could withstand
As I grew to be this teenager those memories always lingered
I can remember a phone call that will hit me hard
It had my emotions triggered
Those words said “ he is dead” at that moment I could not discard
My body went numb and I shivered
I will no longer feel ashamed
I know this was not my fault
I no longer feel pained
I know now that it was an assault
No one should ever feel emotionally chained
Of feeling at fault
