my feelings

I really need help with all the demons I’m facing show many bad Memories no wonder my mind keep racing I’ll never be good enough I’ll never feel loved, wanted, or Appreciated yeah that kind of stuff i just wanna feel loved is something wrong with that why u think I can’t change we never talk so I hide all the pain I hate me dear Lord what’s taking so long for u to take me I just wanna know and I know I’m goin to hell cuz I know I’m not good enough to come knocking on your door no matter how hard I try I always tend to make the people around me cry I give up like it’s my only choice I’ll do anything just to hear my daddy’s voice I’m mentally drained the only person I want doesn’t want me again like why me just show me the lights like a deer in the high beams I been begging for help I tried 2 or 3 times killing myself I know I don’t prey that’s cuz I really don’t know what to say I lost myself a long time ago i remember having faith along time ago i ruin everything that’s why I stopped praying cuz I felt u wasn’t hearing me but why listen to me I never did nothing for anybody to be happy to see I ain’t got nobody to ask what happen to me they say things get better stop capping to me I put everyone 1st and still get done the worst all the bad things that happen to me I gotta be cursed so why not call it quits if I raise my voice she thinks she gonna get hit one of 3 of my kids don’t like and I been there since she been in a dyppe I let my feelings out and don’t even get a response I get her mad once and she’s hitting his line let me know what to do just give me a sign I really can change just give it some time