I’m so tired of not knowing

Each time i stare at myself in the mirror i imagine a pier and as i hear the voices in my head who am i a girl once a boy another? I WANT TO KNOW IM TIRED I CRY DAMMIT JUST-LET ME KNOW WHY DONT I GET THIS HAPPINESS you make me feel alive but they make me feel like me and i want to be me because without me i can’t live and maybe i don’t wanna die but i don’t wanna be stuck not living just here someone please just let me know who i am please