My heart broke when he looked
At me and said he didn’t feel the
Same when I reminded myself
I expected this and on my exhale
The shards of reality pierced my lungs
I stared at his smile and said I
Understand because I did
I understood I was losing him
I realised I still wanted to see
That smile each day I still
Wanted to be his everything like
He had once been mine
I was dying but he was smiling
‘Let’s be friends’. He said yes
I nodded like it didn’t mean
Burying a part of myself to keep the
Rest of him
Now I call when he needs comfort
Laugh at jokes I’ve heard before
Ask about girls he likes - girls
I’ll never be
I’ll never bring it up again
Not the moment, not the look
Not the slow sweet ruin of my hope
Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same
The weight of the silence too
Or is distance has claimed him already
Leaving only my shadows where we stood
But then I remind myself
Some love fades like twilight-quiet,
beautiful, aching because holding on
Means slowly losing myself
Because of I don’t say it maybe
He will never leave maybe this
Ache will be enough
Maybe loving him quietly is like
Carrying a secret garden in my
Chest Thorned but alive. Because
Losing him would be losing a part
Of myself
