Secrets that just weigh upon my heart, rotting my soul within my body, guilt killing my mind. So heavy I can’t even breathe without a reminder no relief no peace I can find.
The weight gets easier overtime to shoulder and it’s not as felt as much as it was before. I made a condition to myself no other soul will know of this I promised I swore.
I can’t escape the anger with myself how stupid & ignorant I was when I took the action. I would take own life to erase it, I just want to feel someone’s compassion.
How could I ever be loved, especially a man whom I will live with eternally with God. I want to find love but if I tell them they’ll leave and if I don’t I’ll be a fraud.
The scars I must cover and conceal to everybody only I know and the king up above. I feel shame to talk about and I fear that if I do my life will no longer contain anybody’s love.
So I stand here with myself every night with my thoughts beating myself up hating who I am. I’m a helpless creature waiting for my mom to come save me like a wolf preying on a lamb.
So I must live with this forever as it weighs on my conscious for that is what I deserve. This is a hard lesson that will forever stick with me that is something that from I must learn.
