You never really know
what someone is going through…
They never knew the times
my legs gave out
when I practiced beyond limits…
They never knew the times
I stayed up wondering
if I was smart
or just another “above average” one…
They never knew the times
I sat in front of my TV
comparing myself
to the ones that made life look worth living…
They never knew the times
I ate salad for multiple weeks straight
just so I could fit a pair of jeans
two sizes smaller than other girls my age…
They never knew the times
I held my phone in one hand,
pills in the other,
asking myself if they would actually miss me…
They never knew the times
I went down to the basement
just to look at the knives
I might one day take my own life with…
They never knew the times
I broke down
and slapped myself
just to feel something…
They never knew…
