Rie Sheridan Rose
Something to think about...I had someone tell me in a workshop to try and avoid weak words at the ends of lines. You might think about moving the "fors" to the beginning of the lines beneath them, because "words" and "meant" are much stronger words... Still, a nice piece. :)
Humayun I found this especially beautiful: "...single tear / washing the land of impurities"
Tritina: salvation
Humayun Loved the "voice like wine" phrase- I can visualize it now!
Pan Sang to Me Last Night
Rie Sheridan Rose I am going to have to look into the form of the tritina so that I can grasp all the nuances. Compelling imagery.
Tritina: salvation
Rie Sheridan Rose Thanks, Alan
Two Birds
Alan Liu Love the imagery
Two Birds
Humayun dark, but feels true
A Man So Free
Humayun test
Happen
Humayun Enjoyed the feeling of the world spinning around me!
tornado
Geri I could smell the air and feel the calm. :)
A Morning On East Lake, Upper Michgan
Geri I already have spring fever. Now I want to dig out the camping gear! I
A Morning On East Lake, Upper Michgan
Montana Svoboda I'll be sure to experiment with that in my writings, I appreciate the feedback and tip!
To Kill A Deer and Something More
Humayun Kind of tore my heart out- I could feel the dread building as I read each line
To Kill A Deer and Something More
Rie Sheridan Rose Something to think about...I had someone tell me in a workshop to try and avoid weak words at the ends of lines. You might think about moving the "fors" to the beginning of the lines beneath them, because "words" and "meant" are much stronger words... Still, a nice piece. :)
To Kill A Deer and Something More
Humayun Wow, the "few ducks swimming serenely" line made me happy- really paints a picture!
A Morning On East Lake, Upper Michgan
Rie Sheridan Rose Some powerful word choices.
To Kill A Deer and Something More
Rie Sheridan Rose Thanks! I went to a poetry festival last weekend, and this was one of the results.
Two Birds
Humayun Loved the feeling I got from the "azure skies"
Two Birds
Geri Thank you. :)
Happen
Rie Sheridan Rose I like the soundscape of it. :)
Happen
Geri I was hoping it came across that way. Thanks for your comment!
Happen